Physical attraction attachment styles and dating development
Although they’re seeking a sense of safety and security by clinging to their partner, they take actions that push their partner away.
Even though anxiously attached individuals act desperate or insecure, more often than not, their behavior exacerbates their own fears.
When there is a secure attachment pattern, a person is confident and self-possessed and is able to easily interact with others, meeting both their own and another’s needs.
They see their relationships from the working model that you need to go toward others to get your needs met, but if you get close to others, they will hurt you.
In a sense, we set ourselves up by finding partners that confirm our models. Cindy Hazan found that about 60 percent of people have a secure attachment, while 20 percent have an avoidant attachment, and 20 percent have an anxious attachment. There are questions you can ask yourself to help you determine your style of attachment and how it is affecting your relationships.
If we grew up with an insecure attachment pattern, we may project or seek to duplicate similar patterns of relating as adults, even when these patterns hurt us and are not in our own self-interest. On August 13, I will be hosting a CE Webinar with Dr.
An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.
This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met.