When it goes from dating to a relationship

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And if it doesn’t, you’re OK because you know that it just means you weren’t a matforith that person.It doesn’t mean you’re flawed or damaged or bad or unlovable. Sometimes you’ll be able to see this, and sometimes the other person will have that clarity.No amount of plotting or analyzing will change whether you and someone else are compatible. The dating process is more of a discovery process to find out if it’s there.So you enter into the relationship as your best self and then one of two things happens: it works out, or it doesn’t.Tell yourself that you will be fine with things for the time being, and if nothing changes in two weeks, then you can be upset about it and deal with it.Or let’s say you’re in a serious relationship and there has been talk of getting engaged but he hasn’t popped the question yet.Anyone who has dated long enough knows exactly what I’m talking about.

For example, if you started seeing a guy and don’t hear from him for a day or two, say, “I will not panic about this right now.And then the devastation starts to creep in…followed by the doubts. He’s happily going along doing his thing while you are knee-deep in heartbreak mode, mourning the loss of what could have been and trying to figure out where it all went wrong. You cling to the relationship even tighter because you remember how miserable it felt when you thought you lost it and you vow not to do anything to screw this up.MORE: 5 Ways to Ruin a Budding Relationship I’m not saying the relationship will be doomed after this point, but I can guarantee it will cause a major shift in the dynamic and it will definitely ruin your ability to actually enjoy the relationship anymore.In my article on why guys suddenly lose interest, I discussed how caring too much or stressing over your relationship can irreparably damage it. When you eliminate the care (or worry or stress or whatever you want to call it), you are free to really be in the relationship.The article sparked an avalanche of e-mails and comments from women who were feeling panicked over the state of their relationship. You can see the other person for who he is and you can give yourself to him freely – no strategy, no game-playing, no manipulation. You can just be and there is no greater feeling than that. How do we stop our minds from spinning into overdrive, sending out waves of unpleasant thoughts and alarm bells? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Are You Sabotaging Your Love Life” Quiz right now and find out if you’re sabotaging your love life, and if you need to get out of your own way…

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